Is it possible to live life without feeling insecure? Are you always comparing yourself to others? How can you learn to accept yourself fully and give yourself love so you can thrive?
To Judge or Not to Judge
How you judge yourself affects your self-confidence. There is no doubt that insecurities are part of the human experience. People have imperfections. Even the most eye-pleasing person will find fault with their looks even if no one else can see it. If you are a perfectionist, it can be challenging to let go of insecurities, and you may develop higher anxiety about your appearance.
There are many types of insecurities, but none are significant and more common than the insecurities one feels about the external self. No one is immune to feeling inadequate in some way. Finding the right balance to have a full life view is essential for your mental health and feeling comfortable in your skin.
Self-doubt can come and go. You can grow out and grow into insecurities throughout your lifetime. What you were insecure about in your teens are not the same insecurities you may have ten, twenty, or thirty years later. These lingering thoughts are troublesome for anyone, though.
Judging other people can also come at a price. Being critical of others may contribute to your level of self-critique. It is often said that we are our worse critics. We doubt ourselves to check ourselves, which helps us to monitor ourselves and our behavior. But, things can get out of control when this continuous cycle of self-doubt occurs.
You may know someone who is constantly judging others as a form of releasing their insecurities as they project them onto other people. Or, an overly competitive nature may make a person judgmental as they get stuck in a negative headspace. If you are in a state of the persistent judgment of others, you are aiding your suffering. You can develop a pattern of being judgmental toward yourself and others that ultimately will make you feel depleted. Breaking that pattern of this negative headspace will help you to feel more secure and confident without having to bring yourself or other people down.
People seem to spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other people. You can break the cycle of self-doubt or at least minimize the mind chatter of a negative spiral by changing to more positive self-talk. Take time to welcome a higher vibration of communication with yourself by using words and phrases that express the positive. Phrases like I am courageous, I value myself, I believe in myself, I love and care for myself, I appreciate who I am becoming, and I can meet challenges with grace and patience will aid you in feeling more balanced. You can also rebuild your self-confidence and self-esteem by gauging your self-worth through your actions. Learning something new is a powerful way to build your feelings of self-empowerment. There is so much to learn and do, don’t let your insecurities keep you from discovering new things.
Insecurity in Training
Many insecurities are society based. How we are geared toward, trained, or influenced by societal expectations. You may not feel insecure about a physical feature until someone tells you, you should be. Or, society changes the beauty standard to say this is more acceptable than that. There is no universal standard of beauty since the world is so diverse and cultural standards vary. Even throughout history, beauty is and always will be in the eye of the beholder. It is within your standards and values which define how you see and experience beauty. Being your own influencer can ease the weight of judgment toward yourself and maybe even break the cycle of constantly judging others.
We can’t just fall into believing we are less than others because someone says we are. Or, societal messaging think we must be this way or that. We can be our best by deciding what fits our path and how we manage to engage with our mission.
Over time find how to accept your imperfections, shortcomings, misdeeds, mistakes, and failures. No one is without insecurities, which can sometimes drive your motivation to learn more about yourself or another culture and come to a better understanding and appreciation.
No one comes into life fully equipped with skills and abilities. We learn and grow into being ourselves. A person may be prone to athleticism, but their expertise is honed through many hours of development and training. But, you don’t have to be the best to feel like you are the best version of yourselves.
The Beauty Formula
So, some scientist comes up with a formula of beauty where certain physical features that generates an opinion a person possesses a more outstanding beauty aesthetic. Among other measurements is the optimal distance from forehead to chin, with the eyes, nose, and lips equal distance from the other. The size, width, and spacing of eyes and how far apart they should be, are just measuring techniques in gauging this optimal beauty standard. But measuring beauty this way is so restrictive. It doesn’t allow individuals to be individual. It devalues everyone, even the people who “measure up.” Beauty isn’t a formula. Beauty is the freedom to be beautiful by your standards. Find how to enhance your features with subtle makeup techniques - take care of your skin with daily cleansing and moisturizing. Discover what colors work best for you and your surroundings.
People tend to see their external flaws first and don’t acknowledge the things that make them beautiful. It feels better when you appreciate your outstanding features and consider them in your thinking. You can balance out your vision by seeing your full life view.
You may be less critical of another person. You may see the beauty in them before you see it in yourself. For example, you may think your friend has gorgeous hair, and the friend disagrees because they are critical of themselves or let you know that it is challenging to maintain such curly hair, and she wishes she had straight hair. Maybe, your friend says you have such beautiful eyes, but you don’t recognize it in yourself because you only see that your eyebrows are uneven.
Beauty is More Than Skin Deep
You may often hear that beauty is only skin deep, but I challenge that notion to say that beauty is more than skin deep. You can have external beauty by appreciating and enhancing your positive physical features and developing those inner qualities that shine through. Your authentic personality traits are valuable characteristics that define your inner beauty, like being kind, respectful, generous of heart, caring, compassionate, empathetic, and honest. You can be confident and manage insecurities by giving yourself some grace. Allow yourself to see your full life view by holding space for yourself and giving others room to be their authentic self.
As a makeup and hair artist for decades, I see each person as uniquely individual. They are living life to the best of their ability and resources. Visualize the importance of taking care of yourself through self-care and giving yourself the space to grow, achieve, and accomplish those goals. To thrive by actively participating in decision making, goal setting, and taking steps, even the small ones, toward achieving those goals. You can embrace your whole self, insecurities, and all.
If you only see the cracks in the sidewalk and avoid seeing the entire pathway, you get a partial view. You are not consuming the whole picture with limited attention to your surroundings if you lock into seeing the negative and develop insecurities by overthinking what is harmful. You are not here to overanalyze the negative. You are here to be a whole person and engage in all that is you, all that you are becoming, a full life view.
Ultimately, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it should stay that way.
Seek therapy if you are experiencing overwhelming insecurities that may interfere with your mental health. Communicating with a therapist can be very beneficial.